Have you ever had one of them weeks that were just fucked up?? Like none other and nothing seems to go freaking right and it keeps going wrong? Yeh well I'm having one of them weeks.. D=<

I'ma content kinda guy, and usually takes alot to get me like this you know.

I mean screwing up a 10 min speech in front of business people? Ok I can handle that.

Having a english essay, legal assesment, and music assesment dued sometime in the same week? Yeh alright I can handle that.

Pracitising the same dance routine for 6 hours in a room with no air-con with another 100 boys? It's damn annoying but I can handle that still.

Having your bike tires slashed, then buying another bike tube, only to find it that it has holes, then having to delivery meds in the boiling sun? Yeh I'm gonna start to get annyoyed abit.

Not having a girl that you thought was pretty awesome not talking to you anymore? I can't help but hurt..

Having to see my mum reading the rejection letter saying I didn't get the $2000 scholarship, which I didn't even want to apply for but a teacher did anyway? That killed me... to see the dissapointment in her eyes pierced through me like a knife.

I didn't want to apply for that scholarship, I knew I wasn't gonna get, but no, Miss had to insist and go ahead anyway. I didn't keep my hopes up. My mum did though...

And then all these other problems surrounding my mind..

And I'm fckn pissed cause I know there are other people having a bloody tougher time then me out there suffering so much more worse, and I feel like a selfish prick, but I can't help it!!

And it doesn't seem I have a life anymore, it just seems to be dragging on, no certain path, no certain door... and I'm worried and I'm scared.

I've also come to a realisation of something... my life is so lonely... my world is lonely, I don't have any particular person to come to, my family... I love them, so so much, but I can't show it to them I don't know why, I can't tell them anything. My friends, I know they care, for that I'm so grateful, but my fucking trust issues... some may think they know everything bout me, but there's so many things they don't know and I wish I could tell them, but I don't want them to see me differently.

And I try to keep positive, I wanna keep my head up and I wanna smile. But these days, there not much to smile about. I just wish there was a soloution to everything that needed to solved. All I want is to happy and yes sometimes that is a bit too much to ask.

I'm lonely, all I want is for someone to be there for me, but I keep pushing people away, cause I damn stupid like that. People see me smiling and shit, ain't always real. Well I guess this was my venting for today, I'll try keep it updated.

P.S Oh and yerh for all my mates that do read this, you know why I've been kinda weird lately and stuff now and yeh

"Sometimes it's all just a act."

Have you ever had one of them weeks that were just fucked up?? Like none other and nothing seems to go freaking right and it keeps going wrong? Yeh well I'm having one of them weeks.. D=<

I'ma content kinda guy, and usually takes alot to get me like this you know.

I mean screwing up a 10 min speech in front of business people? Ok I can handle that.

Having a english essay, legal assesment, and music assesment dued sometime in the same week? Yeh alright I can handle that.

Pracitising the same dance routine for 6 hours in a room with no air-con with another 100 boys? It's damn annoying but I can handle that still.

Having your bike tires slashed, then buying another bike tube, only to find it that it has holes, then having to delivery meds in the boiling sun? Yeh I'm gonna start to get annyoyed abit.

Not having a girl that you thought was pretty awesome not talking to you anymore? I can't help but hurt..

Having to see my mum reading the rejection letter saying I didn't get the $2000 scholarship, which I didn't even want to apply for but a teacher did anyway? That killed me... to see the dissapointment in her eyes pierced through me like a knife.

I didn't want to apply for that scholarship, I knew I wasn't gonna get, but no, Miss had to insist and go ahead anyway. I didn't keep my hopes up. My mum did though...

And then all these other problems surrounding my mind..

And I'm fckn pissed cause I know there are other people having a bloody tougher time then me out there suffering so much more worse, and I feel like a selfish prick, but I can't help it!!

And it doesn't seem I have a life anymore, it just seems to be dragging on, no certain path, no certain door... and I'm worried and I'm scared.

I've also come to a realisation of something... my life is so lonely... my world is lonely, I don't have any particular person to come to, my family... I love them, so so much, but I can't show it to them I don't know why, I can't tell them anything. My friends, I know they care, for that I'm so grateful, but my fucking trust issues... some may think they know everything bout me, but there's so many things they don't know and I wish I could tell them, but I don't want them to see me differently.

And I try to keep positive, I wanna keep my head up and I wanna smile. But these days, there not much to smile about. I just wish there was a soloution to everything that needed to solved. All I want is to happy and yes sometimes that is a bit too much to ask.

I'm lonely, all I want is for someone to be there for me, but I keep pushing people away, cause I damn stupid like that. People see me smiling and shit, ain't always real. Well I guess this was my venting for today, I'll try keep it updated.

P.S Oh and yerh for all my mates that do read this, you know why I've been kinda weird lately and stuff now and yeh

"Sometimes it's all just a act."