Ahh well hope you guys enjoyed my poems, probably more to come.

Well today was the first day back at school. It seemed no different lol.

I gots some of my exam results back today, was quite pleased with it actually. I came first in both Legal Studies & Drama, so I'm quite content lol.

It was also hard seeing "her" I'm just tryna find a way to get over her, but its harder then it seems, everytime I wanna go talk to her, I just end up backing down...

I had no feeling of being older or in year 12. Nor did the fact me being captain seemed to change anything, everything to seem to be like they were before the hols.

After school, had work again, after work though, I decided to go to the lake, and who by chance was there but Raquel lol. We spent the next hour talking and stuff, hanging out, was pretty good, walked her home. Spent an hour on the phone with Mel tonight talking bout jack all lol.

But yehh everything seems to be as they were before... maybe even worse.

*after ALOT of nagging and some brownies of Raquel, i gave in and finally wrote her a poem haha*

This is bout a girl thats one of a kind.
Let me just add she's a girl like no other,
I don't know what it is,
she must be an angel undercover.

With a body of a goddess,
she's just a sight to behold.
How she fights off all them guys,
I really don't know.

With the kind of beauty,
I 'd compare to the ancient queen Cleo,
and there's something bout this girl, l
ike an inner beauty glow.

With a smile of a angel,
and eyes as well.
I kinda forgot to mention,
the name of this lady happens to be kel.

Now before I finish,
to this girl I'd like to say,
thank you for them brownies =P
hope you have a lovely day =D

*sighs*

Ahh well I've going through alot of things,

so many ups and down (more downs then ups might I add)
So much mixed feelings. Confused. I don't really know what to know.
Cause really I think I'm at a breaking point.

Been venting by writing some stuff, below are just some stuff I wrote up. enjoy.

*inspired by a status on facebook*

Everyone in the world needs one person.

We need one person one person to keep it real with,
Someone there to help you deal with your shit.

We all need one to make us smile on our worse days,
we need someone to say "I love you no matter what believe me, ok?"

Someone to hold your hand when their scared,
One person you kissed when you got dared.

On Valentines you need one person to buy roses for,
also one person to leave a box of chocolates by the door.

Just need one person to tell them your dreams and your fears,
a person in your heart you hold most dear.

One person whose eyes you could stare,
forgetting bout all your troubles without a care.

One person to give you a hug when your all alone,
someone to play the "noo you hang up" game on the phone.

They are the one person you never want to be apart,
only to them, you'd give your heart.

I can't get over the fact that I still miss ya I mis ya I really wanna kiss ya but I can't
Cause I got lil voices in my head doing a chant saying
"Just tell her you love her man it harldy ain't a thing!"

I close eye and in my mind I look to my left and my right,
the only girl thats in sight is... you,
damn... I only ever wanted to call you my boo.

And soon I couldn't tell up from down,
Again I close my eyes and turned around,crazy stuff started happening.
damn... again you were there standing and I thought I was seeing things.

I'm at a stand still,
cause I don't know what to do
Cause all this that I feel,
don't mean nothing to you.

But at least I'm getting better,
well I think I am.
People are telling me,
"just don't give a damn"

But I don't wanna,
cause the fact of the matter is,
whatever I do, I'll be thinking of you...

I believe it's cupids work thats led me to pain,
Cupids arrows have pierced my heart and now love has filled my veins.

It is cupids work that has got me this confused,wondering wether she loves me or not has left my heart battered and bruised.

It can only be cupids work that makes me smile when I see her,staring at such a beautiful being nothing could be clearer.

I don't know if it's cupids work that fills me with butterflies everytime we touch,
I can't stand to see her with other guys this love has got me in a clutch.

It has to be cupids work that's driving me insane,
Cupids work is what makes my heart fall whenever I hear her call out my name.

And I believe it to be cupids work that has left me feeling bubbly from my head to my feet,cupids work I can only describe as simply and purely... bittersweet

When I see her walking by,
I smell her scent,
she gets me high.
I see them legs,
they look so fine.
And her face looks so kind.

I see her all alone,she's just playing on her phone.
I ask her if she's alright,
Me and her side by side.

I walk her home,
she kisses goodbye.
Them lovely lips,
made me sigh.

I'm walking home,with a smile.
Hope to see her in a while.
I think I love her,I really do.
I just hope that,she loves me too.

And I'm tired of it all,
Do you ever feel like you were meant for something more?
But then you turn around and see where you live,
And you want to escape this hole you call home but nothing seems to give.
Why do people have high expectations of me?
Man I'm just any other fish in the place we call the sea.
All that I do now, how will it benefit me?
Is it gonna pay the bills when I'm 33?
I wanna grow some wings and just fly away,
to a world where I'd have a nice day.
Its nice to have people believe in you.
But what is it all for?
When your so tired of life.
You don't wanna try anymore.

Shit mann watta damn day ayee,
hell after not seeing you for how long you think, things can be like before??
Nah, eff you I understand you got hurt and I did too,but guess what??
it. was. your. choice.
It took me a long time yehh to get over you,never knew it was possible for that to be done to someone.
Guess yo achieved that aye?
Then you all over that guy like I was nothing?
You say that was your way of "coping"
Very intersting way of coping I might add.
Maybe I'm just ignorant,
I'm probably am.
But what can I say, I'ma guy.
Then you start crying, saying it ws my fault cause I got angry???
Shitt got some nerve there hey.
You say you have many problems and I can respect that, but how can I respect the way you treated me?
And I feel sorry cause I wanna help you, but you dont't let me in.
So I ask myself "why do you try?"
Man I'm sick of treated like shit cause I wanna be the nice guy.
You try to someone that people can rely on...you turn out to be the guy people take advantage off...
I guess this is just suppreesed anger some may call it,what can I say, I've held this in for a longggggg time now.
Must say I'm fourtanate that someone was able to make me see that life ain't so shit.
But damn I dont' even know where's that heading anymore

Watta great start to the hols...

Even as I woke up to a grey sky, my world never seem brighter (:
Amazing how one little thing seems to make your troubles lighter.
Walking down the streets with a smile on my face,
thinking of you besides my troubles seems to be the case.
The statement above, I mean it its true.
My life would certainly seem to be darker without you.
Thought the answer you gave me wasn't a yes or a no,
I'm just happy you didn't leave me out in the cold :L
I do know that I might've fucked up in the past,
but I never really knew that it'd leave a memory that would last.
You know your the reason that I'm writing again, got off my ass and picked up the pen.
Your the one that made my ideas flow,
your the one that makes me feelings show.
All that I say is your the most wonderful girl,
with the most beautiful eyes I've seen in the world :L

You know, I reckon all the boys out there would agree with me that girls are the most damn confusing beings God has ever created.
But then again sometimes God creates some of them to be so beautiful as well.
I feel like I'm blessed that I know her and I hope that she can tell,
And I can't help if I'm developing feelings for her right?
Cause everytime I see her its such a wonderful sight.
I have no idea what it is about her,
but even at my lowest moments, she puts a smile on my face,
where noone else seemed to managed that.
And when she hugs me, its a feeling noone else can give me,
My mind is just free from all my problems and a warmth like no other.
She has the most wonderful smile,
and beautiful eyes like no other that just drives my heart wild.
And when she's sad,
I'm sad.
When she's mad,
I'm mad.
And I feel bad cause it seems like theres nothing I can do.
I try my best to talk to her but yet she still feels blue.
And I wanna tell her that she means the world to me,
But I'm afraid.
I don't wanna lose her.
I'd rather her as a friend then see her walk away.
Sometimes its as if she feels the same,
Sometimes its like she doesn't.
I don't wanna take a risk.
Cause I know the pain.
And it doesn't feel good.But as long shes in my life,
I'm happy....to an extent.

I hope she knows who she is, so she can put me outta my misery.
But I hope she knows that she means the world to me.

And with me being awake, I ask myself why,
Why is it that people put on a mask that are of lies?
Would it really be that hard just to be yourself?
Isn't it better to be who you are and please stop me if im wrong
but back in the days, where we get along, wasn't it better that way?
Why are we now resorting to these petty things where everyone wants a say,but noone takes the damn time to listen.
I enjoyed the old days,I really did,when we were just freaking kids.
And because I'm sick of the tears that I see fall
sick of the screaming, and shouting.
People just don't wanna see.
If they could only tell that this wasn't the key.
The fighting, the two face, the screams, the lies
Do you really think this how people want to live their lives???
And it's sad, cause all that the people like me can do,is watch by the sides.
Just watching as friendships start to die,then someone starts to cry.
And I can't help but feel uselessPeople ask whats wrong with meAnd in my head I ask"Can't you see?
Or are you damn blind?,
You really think that everything is just fine?"
But I just guess people can't see
Or DON'T wanna see
So when the people come to me crying
and I can't do anything, I have to force myself and say"Wipe those tears, don't cry cause everything gonna be ok..."

And today I'm sitting here with a smile on my face.
Many things have been happening some good some bad but overall I can't complain lol.

Well first of all, the audition fo School Spec, man it was hella good, meeting up with all them other dancers was cool, it was also the day of the duststorm, gotta admit, freaked me out for a moment or 2 haha

Hmm what else has been happening, oh yeh the Children's Fest, was a nice day, pretty boring but we found ways to comabt it haha like "Solo" soccer and etc. It was cool as well to put up a sword fight show for the little kiddies haha the fireworks was pretty cool cept it started raining hahah I also bought some stuff for the camp which leads to my next paragraph...

Camp, I must say, was an awesome experiance, being able to do things that I never done before lol like Flying Fox, Abseling and of the sorts. But it also gave me a chance to be able to spend time with people that you wouldn't be able to at school. Must say it was really nice to be able spend them 3 days with her.

After camp there was the Yr 12 garduation to go do lol I got me badge for the captaicny thing, and was time to say goodbye to the year 12's It was a sad but momentous day as well, the Year 11's have got a lot to live up to now lol

Then there was the engagement party yesterday fo my cousin Troung, I don't see him much, so it was nice to be able to habg out with him as well lol the engagement party was alright considering the weather lol.

And I finally had some courage to tell her how I felt, must say it was pretty nerve racking lol but I'm glad I did it lol. The answer I got let's just wasn't what I was expecting but quite happy its not a no haha. She told me that "it's not that I don't wanna be with you, but you know how I feel bout high school love" and "well hopefully you'll be telling me that speech sometime soon" haha I gotta be glad that she feeling the same way haha.

Don't know why, but being this happy got me creative juices flowing again, me poems and all that, I'll post them on here sometime if I can be stuffed haha

Well till next time byeee

Ahh well hope you guys enjoyed my poems, probably more to come.

Well today was the first day back at school. It seemed no different lol.

I gots some of my exam results back today, was quite pleased with it actually. I came first in both Legal Studies & Drama, so I'm quite content lol.

It was also hard seeing "her" I'm just tryna find a way to get over her, but its harder then it seems, everytime I wanna go talk to her, I just end up backing down...

I had no feeling of being older or in year 12. Nor did the fact me being captain seemed to change anything, everything to seem to be like they were before the hols.

After school, had work again, after work though, I decided to go to the lake, and who by chance was there but Raquel lol. We spent the next hour talking and stuff, hanging out, was pretty good, walked her home. Spent an hour on the phone with Mel tonight talking bout jack all lol.

But yehh everything seems to be as they were before... maybe even worse.

*after ALOT of nagging and some brownies of Raquel, i gave in and finally wrote her a poem haha*

This is bout a girl thats one of a kind.
Let me just add she's a girl like no other,
I don't know what it is,
she must be an angel undercover.

With a body of a goddess,
she's just a sight to behold.
How she fights off all them guys,
I really don't know.

With the kind of beauty,
I 'd compare to the ancient queen Cleo,
and there's something bout this girl, l
ike an inner beauty glow.

With a smile of a angel,
and eyes as well.
I kinda forgot to mention,
the name of this lady happens to be kel.

Now before I finish,
to this girl I'd like to say,
thank you for them brownies =P
hope you have a lovely day =D

*sighs*

Ahh well I've going through alot of things,

so many ups and down (more downs then ups might I add)
So much mixed feelings. Confused. I don't really know what to know.
Cause really I think I'm at a breaking point.

Been venting by writing some stuff, below are just some stuff I wrote up. enjoy.

*inspired by a status on facebook*

Everyone in the world needs one person.

We need one person one person to keep it real with,
Someone there to help you deal with your shit.

We all need one to make us smile on our worse days,
we need someone to say "I love you no matter what believe me, ok?"

Someone to hold your hand when their scared,
One person you kissed when you got dared.

On Valentines you need one person to buy roses for,
also one person to leave a box of chocolates by the door.

Just need one person to tell them your dreams and your fears,
a person in your heart you hold most dear.

One person whose eyes you could stare,
forgetting bout all your troubles without a care.

One person to give you a hug when your all alone,
someone to play the "noo you hang up" game on the phone.

They are the one person you never want to be apart,
only to them, you'd give your heart.

I can't get over the fact that I still miss ya I mis ya I really wanna kiss ya but I can't
Cause I got lil voices in my head doing a chant saying
"Just tell her you love her man it harldy ain't a thing!"

I close eye and in my mind I look to my left and my right,
the only girl thats in sight is... you,
damn... I only ever wanted to call you my boo.

And soon I couldn't tell up from down,
Again I close my eyes and turned around,crazy stuff started happening.
damn... again you were there standing and I thought I was seeing things.

I'm at a stand still,
cause I don't know what to do
Cause all this that I feel,
don't mean nothing to you.

But at least I'm getting better,
well I think I am.
People are telling me,
"just don't give a damn"

But I don't wanna,
cause the fact of the matter is,
whatever I do, I'll be thinking of you...

I believe it's cupids work thats led me to pain,
Cupids arrows have pierced my heart and now love has filled my veins.

It is cupids work that has got me this confused,wondering wether she loves me or not has left my heart battered and bruised.

It can only be cupids work that makes me smile when I see her,staring at such a beautiful being nothing could be clearer.

I don't know if it's cupids work that fills me with butterflies everytime we touch,
I can't stand to see her with other guys this love has got me in a clutch.

It has to be cupids work that's driving me insane,
Cupids work is what makes my heart fall whenever I hear her call out my name.

And I believe it to be cupids work that has left me feeling bubbly from my head to my feet,cupids work I can only describe as simply and purely... bittersweet

When I see her walking by,
I smell her scent,
she gets me high.
I see them legs,
they look so fine.
And her face looks so kind.

I see her all alone,she's just playing on her phone.
I ask her if she's alright,
Me and her side by side.

I walk her home,
she kisses goodbye.
Them lovely lips,
made me sigh.

I'm walking home,with a smile.
Hope to see her in a while.
I think I love her,I really do.
I just hope that,she loves me too.

And I'm tired of it all,
Do you ever feel like you were meant for something more?
But then you turn around and see where you live,
And you want to escape this hole you call home but nothing seems to give.
Why do people have high expectations of me?
Man I'm just any other fish in the place we call the sea.
All that I do now, how will it benefit me?
Is it gonna pay the bills when I'm 33?
I wanna grow some wings and just fly away,
to a world where I'd have a nice day.
Its nice to have people believe in you.
But what is it all for?
When your so tired of life.
You don't wanna try anymore.

Shit mann watta damn day ayee,
hell after not seeing you for how long you think, things can be like before??
Nah, eff you I understand you got hurt and I did too,but guess what??
it. was. your. choice.
It took me a long time yehh to get over you,never knew it was possible for that to be done to someone.
Guess yo achieved that aye?
Then you all over that guy like I was nothing?
You say that was your way of "coping"
Very intersting way of coping I might add.
Maybe I'm just ignorant,
I'm probably am.
But what can I say, I'ma guy.
Then you start crying, saying it ws my fault cause I got angry???
Shitt got some nerve there hey.
You say you have many problems and I can respect that, but how can I respect the way you treated me?
And I feel sorry cause I wanna help you, but you dont't let me in.
So I ask myself "why do you try?"
Man I'm sick of treated like shit cause I wanna be the nice guy.
You try to someone that people can rely on...you turn out to be the guy people take advantage off...
I guess this is just suppreesed anger some may call it,what can I say, I've held this in for a longggggg time now.
Must say I'm fourtanate that someone was able to make me see that life ain't so shit.
But damn I dont' even know where's that heading anymore

Watta great start to the hols...

Even as I woke up to a grey sky, my world never seem brighter (:
Amazing how one little thing seems to make your troubles lighter.
Walking down the streets with a smile on my face,
thinking of you besides my troubles seems to be the case.
The statement above, I mean it its true.
My life would certainly seem to be darker without you.
Thought the answer you gave me wasn't a yes or a no,
I'm just happy you didn't leave me out in the cold :L
I do know that I might've fucked up in the past,
but I never really knew that it'd leave a memory that would last.
You know your the reason that I'm writing again, got off my ass and picked up the pen.
Your the one that made my ideas flow,
your the one that makes me feelings show.
All that I say is your the most wonderful girl,
with the most beautiful eyes I've seen in the world :L

You know, I reckon all the boys out there would agree with me that girls are the most damn confusing beings God has ever created.
But then again sometimes God creates some of them to be so beautiful as well.
I feel like I'm blessed that I know her and I hope that she can tell,
And I can't help if I'm developing feelings for her right?
Cause everytime I see her its such a wonderful sight.
I have no idea what it is about her,
but even at my lowest moments, she puts a smile on my face,
where noone else seemed to managed that.
And when she hugs me, its a feeling noone else can give me,
My mind is just free from all my problems and a warmth like no other.
She has the most wonderful smile,
and beautiful eyes like no other that just drives my heart wild.
And when she's sad,
I'm sad.
When she's mad,
I'm mad.
And I feel bad cause it seems like theres nothing I can do.
I try my best to talk to her but yet she still feels blue.
And I wanna tell her that she means the world to me,
But I'm afraid.
I don't wanna lose her.
I'd rather her as a friend then see her walk away.
Sometimes its as if she feels the same,
Sometimes its like she doesn't.
I don't wanna take a risk.
Cause I know the pain.
And it doesn't feel good.But as long shes in my life,
I'm happy....to an extent.

I hope she knows who she is, so she can put me outta my misery.
But I hope she knows that she means the world to me.

And with me being awake, I ask myself why,
Why is it that people put on a mask that are of lies?
Would it really be that hard just to be yourself?
Isn't it better to be who you are and please stop me if im wrong
but back in the days, where we get along, wasn't it better that way?
Why are we now resorting to these petty things where everyone wants a say,but noone takes the damn time to listen.
I enjoyed the old days,I really did,when we were just freaking kids.
And because I'm sick of the tears that I see fall
sick of the screaming, and shouting.
People just don't wanna see.
If they could only tell that this wasn't the key.
The fighting, the two face, the screams, the lies
Do you really think this how people want to live their lives???
And it's sad, cause all that the people like me can do,is watch by the sides.
Just watching as friendships start to die,then someone starts to cry.
And I can't help but feel uselessPeople ask whats wrong with meAnd in my head I ask"Can't you see?
Or are you damn blind?,
You really think that everything is just fine?"
But I just guess people can't see
Or DON'T wanna see
So when the people come to me crying
and I can't do anything, I have to force myself and say"Wipe those tears, don't cry cause everything gonna be ok..."

And today I'm sitting here with a smile on my face.
Many things have been happening some good some bad but overall I can't complain lol.

Well first of all, the audition fo School Spec, man it was hella good, meeting up with all them other dancers was cool, it was also the day of the duststorm, gotta admit, freaked me out for a moment or 2 haha

Hmm what else has been happening, oh yeh the Children's Fest, was a nice day, pretty boring but we found ways to comabt it haha like "Solo" soccer and etc. It was cool as well to put up a sword fight show for the little kiddies haha the fireworks was pretty cool cept it started raining hahah I also bought some stuff for the camp which leads to my next paragraph...

Camp, I must say, was an awesome experiance, being able to do things that I never done before lol like Flying Fox, Abseling and of the sorts. But it also gave me a chance to be able to spend time with people that you wouldn't be able to at school. Must say it was really nice to be able spend them 3 days with her.

After camp there was the Yr 12 garduation to go do lol I got me badge for the captaicny thing, and was time to say goodbye to the year 12's It was a sad but momentous day as well, the Year 11's have got a lot to live up to now lol

Then there was the engagement party yesterday fo my cousin Troung, I don't see him much, so it was nice to be able to habg out with him as well lol the engagement party was alright considering the weather lol.

And I finally had some courage to tell her how I felt, must say it was pretty nerve racking lol but I'm glad I did it lol. The answer I got let's just wasn't what I was expecting but quite happy its not a no haha. She told me that "it's not that I don't wanna be with you, but you know how I feel bout high school love" and "well hopefully you'll be telling me that speech sometime soon" haha I gotta be glad that she feeling the same way haha.

Don't know why, but being this happy got me creative juices flowing again, me poems and all that, I'll post them on here sometime if I can be stuffed haha

Well till next time byeee