So its been a week and a bit into the school hols... and all I can say is how damn shit it is =/
Damnn man all I want is to be happy these hols but its hard, especially when you get turned down.

Man I also wanted to see my baby sister, very often do I get to see her cause of my dad. My hopes were held so high to see her on Christmas Day, but no. What does my stupid dad do? He doesn't pick us up cause of his goddamned wife, I lost it...copletely :@

Thinking bout her is a downer... but what can you say, friends were not meant to be lovers, and that is a shame =/

Then I'm also talking to the other "her" again, I thought "Well it's Christmas, might as well be nice" Lil later we're talking again, ah I so do not want my "sister" finding out... oh yeh... she's gonna kill me.

All I gotta say is thank you Lord for Southern Comfort, how you ease my pain. It's been a rough couple of weeks, lets hope the New Year brings a fresh start aye.

And people have been telling me to try and smile, but it's hard with nothing to smile about, si I just do it anyway, put on a mask to keep others happy, and I'm sick of prentending and all *sigh*

Ah well I'm off laters.

P.S with 250- and something views on my blog, I'm surprised noones following me on twittwer D: come one make me happy..pleaseeee?? And I'm a regular updater as well, so yeh c'mon!
http://twitter.com/thatniceguy2210 plus I've also added a C-Box as well so tell me what ya think of me rhymes when I do post any as well (:

Ugh and this confusion has struck me outta nowhere...
What do you do when you are stuck in between?
Do I want to be with her...or do I not...?
When I am, I feel a feeling which I thought was lost forever in the abyss.
And it feels good...
Though other times it is as if though you don't care at all, and it makes me feel like shit.

Why does this have to happen... I don't think my heart can take anymore
It's not possible for one to take all of this.
After all... I'm afraid now.
I don't know what's gonna happen.
I thought I wouldn't let this happen to me again.

And how can I betray the trust,
that was given to me?
After all isn't it said?
"Brothers before others"?
That a bond is one of the strongest.

So... what's it gonna be?
Yes... No...
Ha if only life was simple like yes and no.
It is... But we as humans just make it more complicated for ourselves.

Ahh... Love, I got this to say to you.
You suck balls... major balls.

Alright with the anger in the blog two below me I'ma try to make this non anger.

Today was pretty good, last days of the year, just tryna chilax.
After school decided that I'd go to the G-Style workshop in the City and I'd have to say that I was pleasantly surprised. Slick Dogg I gotta say is a bloody crack up, he fricken hilarious and Tempo's a mad dancer as well. I got to meet some mad dancers so that was cool had a good time (Y)

Many things I wanna do in the hols and hopefully get them all done.
In 6 weeks, I wanna:

A poem I wrote couple months ago, forgot to place it on here

From your lovely beautiful eyes,
I see them crystal tears fall,
I don't think there can be anything more painful,
then to see you hurt watching the one you loved walked out the door.

Noone cannot stand to see you like this.
I can not begin to imagine what you could be going through,
But these tears of yours that keep falling,
are not worth the guy that you gave your heart to.

They say time heals all wounds,
but there will be a piece of you that never heals,
yet in time you'll see that in the future,
that they were never a big deal.

Let the ones you love in,
cause they the ones that will always be there,
catching your tears and giving a shoulder to lean on,
no matter what, no matter when, they will always care.

Yeh as you can read from the tittle, I don't know why, but I've feeling like a jerk.

But the thing is... I don't give 2 shits man. Have enough of people and their shit you know. I'm tired of trying to please people, I don't wanna have to make anyone happy, you got a problem with me? Fuck up and keep walking prick.

And I sound like a complete dickhead, but you don't know what's it like being the "nice guy" and taken advantage off, so enough is enough.

So next time anyone complain, intstead of hearing this "Ohh bloody hell, so and so is such a bitch you know..." I'll be hearing this instead "wahhh, wahhh, wah wah wah"

Go cry me a fucking river.

And you know why I'm sick of this? Cause I'm sick of chasing people, just so they can feel important =="

Hell I'm tired of hearing "I don't wanna tell you cause you always do blah blah blah" shiet if you ain't gonna tell me, then stop tryna tempt me and don't give me fucking reasons, goddamn man.

Ugh fuck I hate sounding like a dick, so with that I finish my rant.

Ahh I've working on a creative writing task for english that's been killing me all weekend so I though I might as well share the fruits of my labour with all ya'll hahaha I call it "Escape" it's a bit lenghty but I hope ya enjoyy haha

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I never remembered holy water to be so cold. As I walked through the large doors, I took a deep breath. I hadn’t been here since... well I couldn’t remember actually. I knelt at the altar, held my head in shame. “Forgive me heavenly father, for I have sinned...” My throat began to tighten up. “I, I...”

“I never took you for a religious guy, Anthony”, the words echoed through the pin drop silence of the empty church. Startled, I turned to see who it was. Walking towards me, his eyes... it was as if they pierced through my soul. “Mark... I never meant for it to...”

I staggered under the blow. Blood in my mouth, I could taste the tin. “Stupid to worry bout the taste” I thought, as he hit me again and I...
My tooth splattered onto the floor. The surge of anger sweep throughout my body, and felt my face turn red with heat. All I wanted to do now was to get him back. With all the strength I had, I used to tackle him, the force of my body combined with my anger knocked him down.

Me on top of him, my hand shook as I grabbed his shoulder. I could see the disgust he had for me in his eyes. Then I realised, I couldn’t hold him responsible. He threw me off of him, he seemed to calm down, but the anger was there.

His voice was shaky with anger, “How could you...?” “I’m sorry I really am” I struggled to get the words out. “I know you’re her father, but I didn’t know how to tell you...” “Didn’t know?!, you knew and I should’ve been the first you told. She had sent you the text not me!” I could detect a tinge of hurt within his voice. “She didn’t want you to worry or get angry; so I mean who could’ve been better then to text a cop?” I said, trying to make him see reason. “Well how did this all happen then?” his voice cold as stone. I took a deep breath to gather my thoughts.

“From what I’ve heard, it seemed like she sneaked out after you and Denise had already said no, Emily then had gone off to a party or something, met up with some guy there and got in a car with him, he must’ve been drunk, because that was when I got the text, saying “uncle, can’t call, help, I’m scared, he’s driving too fast.”” The words seem to be harder to get out. “By the time I reached the station, someone had already radioed in saying there was an accident...” Each word I spoke seemed to be a knife in Marks heart. “By the time I got down to the scene, the 2 cars were in a wreck beyond belief, rescue was still working on the second car, trying to get the other victims out” A flash went through my head of the sounds and colours of those sirens, the confusion surrounding everyone “I ran towards the ambos where Emily was, the boy had already passed away... if only I was a few minutes faster...”

By now I could see the tears, tears of pain falling down Mark’s cheek. “Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be down at the hospital?”

I sighed “After I called your mum and dad, I needed to escape, to be alone with my thoughts, because believe me Mark, I wished I could’ve done something more and you don’t know how guilty I am...” A tear drop started to fall. “After all the years we’ve known each other, the things we’ve gone through, how could anything prepare for this?”

“How do you think I feel? I let my daughter down as a father! And I thought someone that I considered to be my brother would have been there for me!” I could sense the anger rushing back in him.
“I LOVED her as if she was my niece Mark! And as a brother, tell me, how was I suppose to tell you!?” I asked, trying to get through to him.

And it seemed as I struck a nerve, he fell to his knees and started to sob, a full grown man crying like a baby, that there was the epitome of a father’s love for his child. “Look Mark... c’mon lets head to the hospital, I think Emily’s gonna be waiting for you.” He wiped his eyes with his sleeves and I then helped him up. “I’ll drive. I’ll get us there faster” with voice still chocked up.

The silence in the car seemed unbearable; it seemed like a ghost town with empty roads at 4 in the morning, with rain falling onto the window from a grey cloudy sky. The silence was broken with the ringing of my phone.
“Hello?”
“Son, it’s me, have you heard from your mother yet? Her flight was suppose to be in a few hours ago, but still haven’t hear from her”
“Umm no I haven’t dad, that’s a bit unusual...”
Mark pulled up outside of the hospital.
“Dad listen have to go now, something important came up, mum’s flight delayed or something probably, I’ll call you later ok, bye”

I never liked the hospital, for a place that was suppose to heal you and make you feel better, it seemed so sterile and lifeless, I just wanted to see Emily. “Looking for Emily Ennis’s room” I asked the receptionist. “Room 203” she replied in such a monotone voice. I walked through the halls and each room I passed seemed to be filled with people in pain, this wasn’t helping. I looked over at Mark; I could tell he was thinking the same thing. What if she was...?

I could start to see familiar faces, Mark’s parents and Denise. His parents looked sombre, and Denise’s eyes were red with tears. Mark ran towards her and hugged her; I could just hear what they were saying “How is she? Is she alright?” I could tell the panic in his voice. “I don’t know yet, they haven’t said anything, they won’t let us in... how could let this happen to our baby Mark?!” She started sobbing on his shoulders. “Shh, it’s not our fault ok, it was never your fault, our baby is gonna be fine, just wait and see” he said trying to comfort her.

A doctor came towards us, “Mr and Mrs Ennis?” Something in his eyes gave me an uneasy feeling. “I’m sorry to have met you under these circumstances, but your daughter...” The look in Mark and Denise were painful to even look at, as these words were spoken. “The internal bleeding... we couldn’t stop it, we did everything we could, it is unlikely she’ll survive the night, you may proceed to see her when you are ready, and again, I’m sorry.”

At those words, Denise broke down. An uneasy feeling came over me and I began to feel nauseous. “You bastard, what kind of uncle are you” a voice in my head screamed at me. Mark was doing all in his power to comfort Denise, and his parents were standing there in shock. “Honey, Honey, listen to me, look we have to stay strong ok? For our baby girl, we gotta stay strong.” Denise wiped her tears and nodded while still crying.

I was shocked at what I saw when I walked in the room with the others. Machines from all around the room were hooked up to her. She didn’t even seem human anymore...
“Mum...Dad...? I’m sorry...” I heard the soft voice begin to whisper, filled with pain.
“We’re here honey, we’re here now, everything’s gonna be alright ok?” Denise uttered to her.
Emily’s eyes scanned across the room, my eyes met hers. “Uncle... I’m so sorry uncle, I didn’t know who else to go to...” her voice sounded so weak, I felt a tear again fall down from my eye. “I’m so sorry lil one, I’m so sorry, I ran as fast as I could, but, but it wasn’t enough...” my voice began to choke up. Tears fell down on her soft face; I couldn’t bear seeing this innocent girl, my niece being in pain like this.

I walked out of the room, being unable to handle the pain; I sat on a chair to gather my thoughts. This couldn’t be happening, how could it, it must be a bad dream. I went to the bathroom, splashed cold water on my face. I looked at myself on the mirror... “Pathetic what kind of brother and uncle are you?” the reflection in the mirror asked with distain on its face. “ARGH” I smashed the mirror with the bare knuckles on my hand. The disfigured face on the broken mirror just stared at me.

As I walked out, holding my hand in pain, a commotion began to arise. A team of paramedics ran passed me with a stretcher, a doctor was with him. What I saw left me stunned on the spot.
“Died on the way here took a couple of hours to get her out car was a bloody wreck, did all we could” a paramedic said, trying to catch his breath.
“Alright take her to E.R let’s see what we can do” replied the doctor.
Before I could follow after the stretcher, Mark’s dad grabbed me by the shoulders “Emily wants to see you now Anthony”
“But , but” I was still in a daze, as his dad led me towards the room.

“Uncle Andy” her soft voice whispered “please tell me, did anyone else get hurt in the accident?” I could only stare at her, still stunned at what I had just saw, unable to reply. “Uncle...?”
Something began to happen, Emily’s face winced in pain “Mum... dad...” She was struggling with the words “please forgive me... I love you.” With her last breath, her faced drop to the side. At that moment, which seemed to last forever. Mark dropped to his knees by Emily’s bedside and screamed in pain, Marks mother caught Denise as she ran towards her, tears gushing down her face. I couldn’t take this I needed to be outside.

With my arms on my head, I was lost, I couldn’t get my thoughts together this was too much information for me to take. Marks father came out, “Anthony, why didn’t you answer to Emily? It was the least you could do.

“The person in the other car...” I took a deep long breath. “... was my mum.”

My phone began to ring, it was dad again...

Ughhh does anyone happen to have a loaded gun?

Motherfucker, 5 days till school's finally over, 12 days till Christmas and yet people still goddamn fight, regardless of the "Chirstmas joy" upon us =="

Fuck I really do not understand why people must fight, over the most petty things ever, shit, you got fucking kids around the world to busy working their arses of to feed their family, and you people argue and fight over this, fucking superficial things :@

And bloody two-faced people, what the fuck is wrong with you, you say something, people are expecting you to do it, not the fucking opposite. Don't then go fucking crying when it's your motherfucking fault.

Girls. Fucking girls... do you enjoying fucking with our heads, do answer please. Not all us boys are bloody sleazes or some shiet like that... some of us really do just a fucking normal relationship to be loved for fuck sakes... fuck I do what I think is wanted of me and shit hits the bloody fan. Ha and people think I'm the one with the committment problems...

I'm so tired of life, school, work... EVERYTHING!!! I just wanna escape, go somewhere that I can be fucking NORMAL!!!!!!!!!! I don't wanna care bout other people anymore D=< who depend on me but aren't there when I fucking need them, and I hate the fact that I can be even bothered to be writing how much I hate all this shit!

I'M TIRED, expected to be the one that takes no sides and to "uphold justice and equality for all" I NEVER ASKED TO!!! For once, just for one day, I want to be happy... )= it's too much to ask isn't it?

sorry for all this rage needed to vent somehow

So its been a week and a bit into the school hols... and all I can say is how damn shit it is =/
Damnn man all I want is to be happy these hols but its hard, especially when you get turned down.

Man I also wanted to see my baby sister, very often do I get to see her cause of my dad. My hopes were held so high to see her on Christmas Day, but no. What does my stupid dad do? He doesn't pick us up cause of his goddamned wife, I lost it...copletely :@

Thinking bout her is a downer... but what can you say, friends were not meant to be lovers, and that is a shame =/

Then I'm also talking to the other "her" again, I thought "Well it's Christmas, might as well be nice" Lil later we're talking again, ah I so do not want my "sister" finding out... oh yeh... she's gonna kill me.

All I gotta say is thank you Lord for Southern Comfort, how you ease my pain. It's been a rough couple of weeks, lets hope the New Year brings a fresh start aye.

And people have been telling me to try and smile, but it's hard with nothing to smile about, si I just do it anyway, put on a mask to keep others happy, and I'm sick of prentending and all *sigh*

Ah well I'm off laters.

P.S with 250- and something views on my blog, I'm surprised noones following me on twittwer D: come one make me happy..pleaseeee?? And I'm a regular updater as well, so yeh c'mon!
http://twitter.com/thatniceguy2210 plus I've also added a C-Box as well so tell me what ya think of me rhymes when I do post any as well (:

Ugh and this confusion has struck me outta nowhere...
What do you do when you are stuck in between?
Do I want to be with her...or do I not...?
When I am, I feel a feeling which I thought was lost forever in the abyss.
And it feels good...
Though other times it is as if though you don't care at all, and it makes me feel like shit.

Why does this have to happen... I don't think my heart can take anymore
It's not possible for one to take all of this.
After all... I'm afraid now.
I don't know what's gonna happen.
I thought I wouldn't let this happen to me again.

And how can I betray the trust,
that was given to me?
After all isn't it said?
"Brothers before others"?
That a bond is one of the strongest.

So... what's it gonna be?
Yes... No...
Ha if only life was simple like yes and no.
It is... But we as humans just make it more complicated for ourselves.

Ahh... Love, I got this to say to you.
You suck balls... major balls.

Alright with the anger in the blog two below me I'ma try to make this non anger.

Today was pretty good, last days of the year, just tryna chilax.
After school decided that I'd go to the G-Style workshop in the City and I'd have to say that I was pleasantly surprised. Slick Dogg I gotta say is a bloody crack up, he fricken hilarious and Tempo's a mad dancer as well. I got to meet some mad dancers so that was cool had a good time (Y)

Many things I wanna do in the hols and hopefully get them all done.
In 6 weeks, I wanna:

A poem I wrote couple months ago, forgot to place it on here

From your lovely beautiful eyes,
I see them crystal tears fall,
I don't think there can be anything more painful,
then to see you hurt watching the one you loved walked out the door.

Noone cannot stand to see you like this.
I can not begin to imagine what you could be going through,
But these tears of yours that keep falling,
are not worth the guy that you gave your heart to.

They say time heals all wounds,
but there will be a piece of you that never heals,
yet in time you'll see that in the future,
that they were never a big deal.

Let the ones you love in,
cause they the ones that will always be there,
catching your tears and giving a shoulder to lean on,
no matter what, no matter when, they will always care.

Yeh as you can read from the tittle, I don't know why, but I've feeling like a jerk.

But the thing is... I don't give 2 shits man. Have enough of people and their shit you know. I'm tired of trying to please people, I don't wanna have to make anyone happy, you got a problem with me? Fuck up and keep walking prick.

And I sound like a complete dickhead, but you don't know what's it like being the "nice guy" and taken advantage off, so enough is enough.

So next time anyone complain, intstead of hearing this "Ohh bloody hell, so and so is such a bitch you know..." I'll be hearing this instead "wahhh, wahhh, wah wah wah"

Go cry me a fucking river.

And you know why I'm sick of this? Cause I'm sick of chasing people, just so they can feel important =="

Hell I'm tired of hearing "I don't wanna tell you cause you always do blah blah blah" shiet if you ain't gonna tell me, then stop tryna tempt me and don't give me fucking reasons, goddamn man.

Ugh fuck I hate sounding like a dick, so with that I finish my rant.

Ahh I've working on a creative writing task for english that's been killing me all weekend so I though I might as well share the fruits of my labour with all ya'll hahaha I call it "Escape" it's a bit lenghty but I hope ya enjoyy haha

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I never remembered holy water to be so cold. As I walked through the large doors, I took a deep breath. I hadn’t been here since... well I couldn’t remember actually. I knelt at the altar, held my head in shame. “Forgive me heavenly father, for I have sinned...” My throat began to tighten up. “I, I...”

“I never took you for a religious guy, Anthony”, the words echoed through the pin drop silence of the empty church. Startled, I turned to see who it was. Walking towards me, his eyes... it was as if they pierced through my soul. “Mark... I never meant for it to...”

I staggered under the blow. Blood in my mouth, I could taste the tin. “Stupid to worry bout the taste” I thought, as he hit me again and I...
My tooth splattered onto the floor. The surge of anger sweep throughout my body, and felt my face turn red with heat. All I wanted to do now was to get him back. With all the strength I had, I used to tackle him, the force of my body combined with my anger knocked him down.

Me on top of him, my hand shook as I grabbed his shoulder. I could see the disgust he had for me in his eyes. Then I realised, I couldn’t hold him responsible. He threw me off of him, he seemed to calm down, but the anger was there.

His voice was shaky with anger, “How could you...?” “I’m sorry I really am” I struggled to get the words out. “I know you’re her father, but I didn’t know how to tell you...” “Didn’t know?!, you knew and I should’ve been the first you told. She had sent you the text not me!” I could detect a tinge of hurt within his voice. “She didn’t want you to worry or get angry; so I mean who could’ve been better then to text a cop?” I said, trying to make him see reason. “Well how did this all happen then?” his voice cold as stone. I took a deep breath to gather my thoughts.

“From what I’ve heard, it seemed like she sneaked out after you and Denise had already said no, Emily then had gone off to a party or something, met up with some guy there and got in a car with him, he must’ve been drunk, because that was when I got the text, saying “uncle, can’t call, help, I’m scared, he’s driving too fast.”” The words seem to be harder to get out. “By the time I reached the station, someone had already radioed in saying there was an accident...” Each word I spoke seemed to be a knife in Marks heart. “By the time I got down to the scene, the 2 cars were in a wreck beyond belief, rescue was still working on the second car, trying to get the other victims out” A flash went through my head of the sounds and colours of those sirens, the confusion surrounding everyone “I ran towards the ambos where Emily was, the boy had already passed away... if only I was a few minutes faster...”

By now I could see the tears, tears of pain falling down Mark’s cheek. “Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be down at the hospital?”

I sighed “After I called your mum and dad, I needed to escape, to be alone with my thoughts, because believe me Mark, I wished I could’ve done something more and you don’t know how guilty I am...” A tear drop started to fall. “After all the years we’ve known each other, the things we’ve gone through, how could anything prepare for this?”

“How do you think I feel? I let my daughter down as a father! And I thought someone that I considered to be my brother would have been there for me!” I could sense the anger rushing back in him.
“I LOVED her as if she was my niece Mark! And as a brother, tell me, how was I suppose to tell you!?” I asked, trying to get through to him.

And it seemed as I struck a nerve, he fell to his knees and started to sob, a full grown man crying like a baby, that there was the epitome of a father’s love for his child. “Look Mark... c’mon lets head to the hospital, I think Emily’s gonna be waiting for you.” He wiped his eyes with his sleeves and I then helped him up. “I’ll drive. I’ll get us there faster” with voice still chocked up.

The silence in the car seemed unbearable; it seemed like a ghost town with empty roads at 4 in the morning, with rain falling onto the window from a grey cloudy sky. The silence was broken with the ringing of my phone.
“Hello?”
“Son, it’s me, have you heard from your mother yet? Her flight was suppose to be in a few hours ago, but still haven’t hear from her”
“Umm no I haven’t dad, that’s a bit unusual...”
Mark pulled up outside of the hospital.
“Dad listen have to go now, something important came up, mum’s flight delayed or something probably, I’ll call you later ok, bye”

I never liked the hospital, for a place that was suppose to heal you and make you feel better, it seemed so sterile and lifeless, I just wanted to see Emily. “Looking for Emily Ennis’s room” I asked the receptionist. “Room 203” she replied in such a monotone voice. I walked through the halls and each room I passed seemed to be filled with people in pain, this wasn’t helping. I looked over at Mark; I could tell he was thinking the same thing. What if she was...?

I could start to see familiar faces, Mark’s parents and Denise. His parents looked sombre, and Denise’s eyes were red with tears. Mark ran towards her and hugged her; I could just hear what they were saying “How is she? Is she alright?” I could tell the panic in his voice. “I don’t know yet, they haven’t said anything, they won’t let us in... how could let this happen to our baby Mark?!” She started sobbing on his shoulders. “Shh, it’s not our fault ok, it was never your fault, our baby is gonna be fine, just wait and see” he said trying to comfort her.

A doctor came towards us, “Mr and Mrs Ennis?” Something in his eyes gave me an uneasy feeling. “I’m sorry to have met you under these circumstances, but your daughter...” The look in Mark and Denise were painful to even look at, as these words were spoken. “The internal bleeding... we couldn’t stop it, we did everything we could, it is unlikely she’ll survive the night, you may proceed to see her when you are ready, and again, I’m sorry.”

At those words, Denise broke down. An uneasy feeling came over me and I began to feel nauseous. “You bastard, what kind of uncle are you” a voice in my head screamed at me. Mark was doing all in his power to comfort Denise, and his parents were standing there in shock. “Honey, Honey, listen to me, look we have to stay strong ok? For our baby girl, we gotta stay strong.” Denise wiped her tears and nodded while still crying.

I was shocked at what I saw when I walked in the room with the others. Machines from all around the room were hooked up to her. She didn’t even seem human anymore...
“Mum...Dad...? I’m sorry...” I heard the soft voice begin to whisper, filled with pain.
“We’re here honey, we’re here now, everything’s gonna be alright ok?” Denise uttered to her.
Emily’s eyes scanned across the room, my eyes met hers. “Uncle... I’m so sorry uncle, I didn’t know who else to go to...” her voice sounded so weak, I felt a tear again fall down from my eye. “I’m so sorry lil one, I’m so sorry, I ran as fast as I could, but, but it wasn’t enough...” my voice began to choke up. Tears fell down on her soft face; I couldn’t bear seeing this innocent girl, my niece being in pain like this.

I walked out of the room, being unable to handle the pain; I sat on a chair to gather my thoughts. This couldn’t be happening, how could it, it must be a bad dream. I went to the bathroom, splashed cold water on my face. I looked at myself on the mirror... “Pathetic what kind of brother and uncle are you?” the reflection in the mirror asked with distain on its face. “ARGH” I smashed the mirror with the bare knuckles on my hand. The disfigured face on the broken mirror just stared at me.

As I walked out, holding my hand in pain, a commotion began to arise. A team of paramedics ran passed me with a stretcher, a doctor was with him. What I saw left me stunned on the spot.
“Died on the way here took a couple of hours to get her out car was a bloody wreck, did all we could” a paramedic said, trying to catch his breath.
“Alright take her to E.R let’s see what we can do” replied the doctor.
Before I could follow after the stretcher, Mark’s dad grabbed me by the shoulders “Emily wants to see you now Anthony”
“But , but” I was still in a daze, as his dad led me towards the room.

“Uncle Andy” her soft voice whispered “please tell me, did anyone else get hurt in the accident?” I could only stare at her, still stunned at what I had just saw, unable to reply. “Uncle...?”
Something began to happen, Emily’s face winced in pain “Mum... dad...” She was struggling with the words “please forgive me... I love you.” With her last breath, her faced drop to the side. At that moment, which seemed to last forever. Mark dropped to his knees by Emily’s bedside and screamed in pain, Marks mother caught Denise as she ran towards her, tears gushing down her face. I couldn’t take this I needed to be outside.

With my arms on my head, I was lost, I couldn’t get my thoughts together this was too much information for me to take. Marks father came out, “Anthony, why didn’t you answer to Emily? It was the least you could do.

“The person in the other car...” I took a deep long breath. “... was my mum.”

My phone began to ring, it was dad again...

Ughhh does anyone happen to have a loaded gun?

Motherfucker, 5 days till school's finally over, 12 days till Christmas and yet people still goddamn fight, regardless of the "Chirstmas joy" upon us =="

Fuck I really do not understand why people must fight, over the most petty things ever, shit, you got fucking kids around the world to busy working their arses of to feed their family, and you people argue and fight over this, fucking superficial things :@

And bloody two-faced people, what the fuck is wrong with you, you say something, people are expecting you to do it, not the fucking opposite. Don't then go fucking crying when it's your motherfucking fault.

Girls. Fucking girls... do you enjoying fucking with our heads, do answer please. Not all us boys are bloody sleazes or some shiet like that... some of us really do just a fucking normal relationship to be loved for fuck sakes... fuck I do what I think is wanted of me and shit hits the bloody fan. Ha and people think I'm the one with the committment problems...

I'm so tired of life, school, work... EVERYTHING!!! I just wanna escape, go somewhere that I can be fucking NORMAL!!!!!!!!!! I don't wanna care bout other people anymore D=< who depend on me but aren't there when I fucking need them, and I hate the fact that I can be even bothered to be writing how much I hate all this shit!

I'M TIRED, expected to be the one that takes no sides and to "uphold justice and equality for all" I NEVER ASKED TO!!! For once, just for one day, I want to be happy... )= it's too much to ask isn't it?

sorry for all this rage needed to vent somehow